if that's more fake meat, i'm throwing it out!

When I first met Dan, he was open to all things new and different. He was used to eating meat and potatoes; his experience with Italian included the olive garden and pizza hut. On our first real date, we went to the Melting Pot where he learned the art of fondue. On our second date, we went to Jin Beh where he experienced the best fried rice ever made, hibachi-style. I was sure I’d hit a cuisine he didn't like, but that didn't happen until 3 1/2 years later.

Dan loved all things Indian, Thai, Chinese, Japanese, French, Spanish and even Irish! Since I love to cook, I introduced him to true Italian cooking, as can only be made by an east coast gal. I think the most important thing to note is that for the first year of our relationship, I tried to get Dan to eat as many different cuisines as possible. We had authentic Spanish tapas in New York City, a Moroccan 7 course feast in Philadelphia and Maryland crab cakes in Baltimore ... all during his first trip to the east coast.

He’s had East Coast, West Coast and Southern style Mexican and toured the delicacies of all of South and Latin American: Peru, El Salvador, Ecuador, Guatemala, Brazil, Argentina and even Columbia. Every time we ate something new, he just loved it more than what he'd had the day before! Each dish was carefully savored, each spice combination committed to memory and slowly recreated in our kitchen on cloudy Sunday afternoons.

I tempted Dan into my life by serving him carefully created dishes to tease the senses and have him begging for more: chicken cacciatore, my grandmother's lasagna, perfectly marinated pork tenderloin, a well-crafted meatloaf with mashed potatoes, rib-eyes on the grill, whatever he craved, I made. The holidays in our home were magical, the turkey that roasted slowly in the oven while the potatoes boiled on the stove; each plate so clean the dogs had nothing to look forward to when the meal was over.

Then finally came the day, the day we both dreaded: our once speedy metabolisms slowed down, family members younger than us began their blood pressure and cholesterol medications. We could no longer feast on mashed potatoes made with heavy whipping cream and big, fat, juicy steaks until our bellies were full (and then some). I started out slow and enrolled in 'boot camp' twice weekly. I threw away the butter, switched us to 1% milk, bought Splenda and banished all things beef. I took all of Dan’s favorite foods and cut the sodium, swapped ground beef for ground turkey, used non-fat evaporated milk instead of heavy whipping cream and that "smart butter" stuff wasn't all that bad. He didn't seem to mind, he liked that I was cooking more often (since I had thrown away all the take-out menus). Some of the new healthy recipes seemed to be even better than what I had been making before! He even pretended that he couldn't tell the difference when I used whole wheat pasta.

After the first 6 weeks of healthy eating and exercise, I wasn't noticing any difference in myself and was determined to lose this faux preggo pooch. I upped the exercise and started training for a half-marathon and insisted on one meatless dinner per week. The first meatless dinner was actually really good: fresh grilled veggies over whole wheat linguine with my homemade spaghetti sauce. Next week, we had black bean burgers topped with salsa and reduced fat sour cream. After that, the meatless meals became something Dan didn't even notice as anything different. I started to branch out and look for other meatless recipes, which was my downfall.

I found this fabulous recipe for panko-crusted tofu with fire roasted tomatoes (similar to chicken parmesan, without the chicken of course) and decided I would finally introduce Dan to tofu, what a great idea! That Sunday, I went to the grocery store as usual but this time had to ask for assistance, where in the world does one find tofu? Luckily enough, the produce guy knew the answer and helped me pick out the right kind for the recipe. I was all set to make our weekly Wednesday meatless dish.

I got home from work and went right to work, carefully following the recipe to ensure it turned out just right. Dan came in the door and greeted the dogs, came over to give me my hello kiss and told me "something smells great" then went out back to play ball with the boys. I called for him to come in, dinner was just about ready and he had to wash his hands and set the table. As usual, we sat down to dinner and Dan asked what we were having ... only this time, rather than giving me a big smile and digging in, he hesitated. He said it smelled great, took a big bite and stared blankly at me, not chewing, not moving. I could see on his face that he was having a tough time so I let him off the hook and told him it was ok. He quickly spit his mouthful into his napkin and tried to reassure me that it was him, not me. It was clear he was grasping and trying not to make me feel badly, told me it smelled great, had a fabulous flavor, but it was just a texture thing. The whole scene was actually pretty funny, he loved the spinach and zucchini and still left the table with a full belly; I promised never to try to make tofu again (even though I thought it came out great and had seconds).

It took 3 1/2 years, but it had finally happened, not only had I found something Dan did not like, but I had cooked a meal that Dan had not devoured!!! For the first few days, Dan gave me rave reviews on absolutely everything I made, overcompensating for that one meal he just didn't like. Weeks then months went by, every meal a success, every plate cleaned. Then came a regular Sunday grocery shopping …

As is custom in our house, I do the grocery shopping then Dan carries it all in from the car and we put it all away together. As he was helping me unpack everything, he came across the polenta I had purchased for a new meatless recipe. He picked up the tube, dropped it on the counter. A panic came over his face as he said "what is that? If that is more fake meat, I’m throwing it away!!!" Through my laughter, I calmed him down, explained that it's a cornbread-like product for Italian cooking to substitute for pasta, but he wasn't sold.

There are two things that I cannot prepare in my kitchen: tofu or polenta. So now as I enter into this new challenge, Dan has made me PROMISE not to make any tofu!!! Dan was quite pleased to come home tonight to black bean tostadas, meatless Wednesday had a triumphant return!


Recipe for panko-crusted tofu with fire-roasted tomatoes and zucchini chips (you’re not getting my famous spinach recipe just yet):
•Firmly-packed Tofu
•2tbsp skim milk
•Panko crumbs
•Italian seasoning
•2 cloves garlic, pressed
•1 can fire-roasted tomatoes
•2 zucchini
•2 tbsp olive oil
•Salt & pepper

Wrap the tofu in paper towels and try to squeeze out as much of the water as possible. Slice tofu in ½ inch slices and set aside.

Place milk in a shallow dish, you’re going to dip the tofu in the milk before you bread it … in a separate dish or plate, mix the panko and Italian seasoning (you can also add garlic powder and parmesan cheese if you want).

Dip the tofu in the milk then in the panko mix and place on a baking sheet. Bake tofu at 375 for 20-25 minutes until browned (but don’t do this just yet, wait until you do the zucchini).

Slice the zucchini into ¼ inch pieces, place on a baking sheet and lightly coat both sides with olive oil (I drizzle the oil over top, flip then drizzle the other side), season both sides with salt & pepper. Bake zucchini at 375 for 15-20 minutes until browned and crispy.

Empty the can of tomatoes into a sauce pan and add the garlic, simmer over low-medium heat. Serve tofu topped w/ tomato sauce, zucchini chips on the side. You can also top the tofu with a little bit of part-skim shredded mozzarella.

the last supper

Have you ever seen Celebrity Rehab or the MTV True Life: I’m going to rehab?? One thing those former celebrities and teens have in common is this: when faced with knowing their last day to indulge in their vices, each goes on a massive bender before heading into rehab. That is pretty much what I have done over these past few days; however, my vice is not heroin or alcohol nor does it require me to risk my life in a shady part of town to get a fix. My vices are perfectly legal for all to purchase and readily available to anyone with a dollar or two, thanks to the value menu. I have eaten more carbs, more fast food, and drank more soda in this past week than I have in the last 6 months, and I have loved every moment of it. While I may know exactly how bad each of those items are for me, I was faced with 90 days of no fast food, zero beverages sweetened with corn syrup or darkened with artificial caramel coloring, and only whole grain or vegetable based carbs; I binged.

For my final binge, my “last supper,” I have chosen my favorite of favorites: Bangers & Mash. I painstakingly hand kneaded homemade Irish Soda Bread then sat while it baked for an hour before covering it with foil for its final 20 minutes in the oven. While baking, it filled the house with such a wonderfully sweet smell … if I’m going to give up white flour (for the most part), I’m going all in. It was so hard to let that beautiful bread sit and cool, I want it now!!

Next up, the bangers. Banger is really just the UK word for sausage. You can use any pork sausage you can find, I wouldn’t recommend using Italian sausage though. Given my limitations of what ethnic foods are available in my immediate area, I have chosen to use beer brats, mmmmmmmmmmm. I carefully pricked each bratwurst with a toothpick to keep them from exploding then placed side-by-side in a large, deep skillet and set the heat to medium. I like to slow cook the brats to keep them from getting that tough skin on the outside. Once I can hear them start to sizzle, I turn down the heat a little, again to keep them from over-browning while making sure they cook all the way through. OMG my house is really starting to smell good!!

While the brats are browning, I’m going to start my mash (aka mashed potatoes). Normally, I hate peeling potatoes, but today I do not mind. I peeled a ton of potatoes, sliced them into 1 inch pieces, then placed them in lightly salted water to boil on the stove until they are so tender that they fall apart at the prick of a fork. Meanwhile, my bangers are done; I moved them to a pan to keep them warm in the oven while I started my onion gravy. In the same skillet, I placed a nice helping of butter, let that melt for a bit while I sliced a very large onion into beautiful, thick rings then added to the butter, stirring frequently until they are nice and browned. Now my secret gravy: I add 1 ½ cups beer (dark beer like a lager or stout) and 1 ½ cups beef broth or stock to the onions, stir the bottom to bring up all the nice browned bits leftover from the brats, turn the heat up to med-high until boiling then lower to med-low to simmer for at least 10min until the alcohol has cooked off. If you’re not certain by sight if the alcohol has cooked off, just give it a big sniff, ummm I think I just started to drool.

My potatoes are done and ready to be mashed. The trick to really good, fluffy mashed potatoes is drying them out really, REALLY well. After draining, let them set in the sink for a good 5 min and shake up the colander a few times to make sure you’ve gotten all the water out. In a large mixing bowl, place your butter, milk, heavy whipping cream (yes I said heavy whipping cream), salt and pepper. Dump the hot potatoes into the bowl and using a hand mixer (still turned off) to mash down the potatoes. Turn the mixer onto low and with mixer in right hand and long wooden spoon in left hand, get to mashing! Make sure you continually use your spoon to stir down the sides of the bowl into the middle to get that even consistency. Once all the big lumps are gone, turn the mixer to medium and start whipping, whip at least 2-3 minutes before turning to high to get all those final tiny lumps hiding throughout.

Potatoes are done, Bangers are being kept warm in the oven, time to heat up the beans and finish the gravy. I use Campbell’s pork & beans when I’m making bangers & mash, the kind in the tomato-based sauce. Just set those in a saucepan on the stove and heat through to boiling before serving. Whisk about 2-3 tbsp of flour into your gravy, ½ tbsp at a time, until nice and thick. Add the bangers back into the gravy for a few minutes before serving while you slice up the soda bread.

Dinner is done: place a heaping spoonful of potatoes into the center of the plate, top with 2 bangers and cover the entire plate in our yummy onion gravy. Serve the beans in a small ramekin on the side, grab a fat slice of soda bread and dig in! Oh how I will miss you potatoes, see you in 90 days …

Week 1: Sunday planning

Somehow I turned needing a new dishwasher into a total kitchen remodel, yay! Unfortunately, it is taking Dan much longer to do each task than anticipated, boo!! I need my kitchen back!!!!!!!

He put in the new dishwasher and re-did the sink and garbage disposal but I’ve asked him to take a short break ripping up the bad 70s tiles that currently cover our countertops so I can get in there. For those that know me, you know how hard it is for me to live in a state of mess. These past few days have been extremely hard, to the point that I hand washed a full dishwasher’s worth of dishes and then some just because I couldn’t stand to see a dirty dish in the sink for one more moment. He kicked me out of the house yesterday to go shopping, and I’m sure the same will happen again today. For most women, you would probably enjoy a day of meandering around various stores, but to me it’s a fate worse than death. I am not one that can putter about window shopping, I go in, get what I want and leave. Yesterday was rough. I only have a short while to get my prep done before I get kicked out of the house again, so here are all the recipes that I promised yesterday.

I’m first going to make my soup and set that to simmer all day: Lentil and Tomato Chicken Soup
1 tbsp olive oil
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 cup chopped carrots
1 cup chopped celery
2 cloves garlic, minced
6 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
2/3 cup lentils (make sure you rinse these in cold water first, sometimes they are dirty depending on where you buy them, if you get them at a farmer’s market, they’re probably still dirty)
1 tsp dried basil
4 cups chopped fresh kale (I skip this bc I don’t like it, but I’m told it’s yummy, if you can't find kale, broccoli is good in this soup too)
2 cups cooked chicken, cut into pieces
1 can no-salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained
Black pepper

In a dutch oven or stock pot, heat the oil over medium heat. Add onion, carrots, celery and garlic; cover and cook for 5-7 min until veggies are tender, stirring when needed.

Add the chicken broth, lentils, and basil; bring to a boil and reduce heat to low simmer. Cover and simmer for 10 min. Stir in kale and pepper, return to boiling then reduce and simmer another 10min.

Stir in the chicken and tomatoes, cover and simmer at least 20min … but I’m going to let mine simmer all day.

Once the soup is simmering on the stove, I’m going to make my muffins: Applesauce Bran Muffins (courtesy Lynne)
1 ½ c dry oatmeal
1 ¼ c bran flake cereal, crushed
¾ t cinnamon
¾ t baking soda
3 T vegetable oil
1 egg white
1 t baking powder
1 c unsweetened applesauce
½ c skim milk
½ c brown sugar

Preheat oven to 400. Combine all ingredients. Line muffin tins with paper cups. Divide batter equally (12 muffins). Bake for 20 minutes or until tested done.

Once the muffins are out of the oven, I’ll set them to cool and head out for the day. Planning on taking the dogs to Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee then over to the dog park then hitting up Michael’s and The Container Store. Hopefully, I’ll be able to waste more time than yesterday.

When I get back, I’m going to start my last supper, my last indulgence, then make my healthified carrot cake and get prepped for my Monday.

Healthified Carrot Cake (courtesy eatbetteramerica.com):
¾ cup all purpose flour
¼ cup whole wheat flour
½ cup sugar
1 ½ tsp pumpkin pie spice (or just mix cinnamon, nutmeg and all-spice)
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
1 cup finely shredded carrots (I use my cheese grater for this, it works wonders)
¾ cup chopped walnuts or pecans, toasted (toast nuts for 6-7 min at 350)
1 egg, lightly beaten
¼ cup cooking oil
¼ cup skim milk or non-fat buttermilk
Frosting: 1/3 cup fat-free cool-whip, ¼ cup non-fat light vanilla yogurt & fat/free or Neufchatel cream cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9x9x2 baking pan with foil, extending foil over the edges of the pan. Lightly coat foil with cooking spray and set aside.

Combine all-purpose flour, wheat flour, sugar, spice, baking powder and salt in a bowl. Add carrots, ½ cup of the nuts, egg, oil and milk. Stir until just combined then spread evenly into the pan.

Bake 15-18 min or until done. Cool on a wire rack.

In separate bowl, mix together the frosting ingredients and beat until fluffy.

Using the edges of the foil, lift the cake out of the pan. Frost the cake w/ prepared frosting and sprinkle w/ remaining nuts. Cut into 20 bars, these are freezer friendly if you wrap in saran wrap.

My prep for Monday will include taking chicken out of the freezer and placing on a paper towel in the fridge to defrost overnight. Then I’ll pack my muffin, yogurt and soup in my lunch bag so I don’t have to worry about getting that ready in the morning.

RECIPE FOR MONDAY: Chicken & Zucchini with Garlic
1 large onion
1 lb skinless boneless chicken breasts
Salt and pepper
1 tbsp olive oil
1 zucchini
2 cloves garlic, minced
Parsley for garnish

Cut onion into thin wedges, set aside. Halve zucchini lengthwise and cut into ¼ inch slices. Season chicken with salt and pepper.

In a large skillet, heat oil, add chicken and cook for 2-3 min, turn chicken, add onion and garlic; cook for 8-10 min longer until chicken is cooked through; stir onions often and turn chicken as needed to brown evenly.

Transfer chicken and onion to a pan or plate, keep warm. Add zucchini to skillet, cook and stir 3-5 min until crisp tender. Add to the plate with chicken and garnish with parsley.

Ok that’s it for now, must head into the kitchen and get cracking before Dan takes back over. I’ll be back online later to talk about my last supper, final fatty, carb-laden meal before my 90 day challenge.

the challenge, if you choose to accept it

I truly believe that no matter how busy you are and how many kids you have; everyone can have healthy, yummy, home cooked meals during the week. As my coworker Lynne and I begin our 90 day challenge to ourselves to eat right and exercise regularly, I invite everyone else to do the same. I’m going to give you my biggest secret for being able to cook every night without pulling out your hair: plan ahead. With proper planning, anyone can be a weeknight gourmet!

The first step is to sit down and plan your week. Review what activities you have going on that week and try to match the level of difficulty against how busy a day is. If you have a particularly busy day, plan an easy/quick meal for that night. On the evenings that you have more time, you can plan a dinner that may take a little longer to prepare and cook-ahead for the next day. My friend Shannon has a whiteboard on her fridge which she uses to plan what she is making every night, which gave me the inspiration to start doing the same. I use this little calendar specifically designed to plan your weekly menus (that I found at Michael’s for $1!). Whatever your method is, take some time on Saturday or Sunday to sit down and plan your week. It doesn’t have to be set in stone, and you can switch your nights around depending on what you’re in the mood for, it’s just important to pick 5-7 meals and write them down, creating the plan is half the battle. Executing the plan is the other half.

I just went through my cookbooks (handwritten and purchased) and reviewed a few websites. Since my goal is to cut carbs, calories and fat, I spent a lot of time on www.eatbetteramerica.com. If you’ve never seen their website, you must check it out!! One of the things I pride myself on is my ability to take the traditional foods that I grew up with and substitute a few ingredients to make them healthier. Eat Better America does all that for you in their “healthified” section, it’s fabulous.

Here is my plan for the week. First, I lay out what I want to have for breakfast, lunches and snacks all week:
•Breakfast – healthy muffin
•Morning snack – nonfat light yogurt
•Lunch – lentil and tomato chicken soup or leftovers from the night before
•Afternoon snack – whole wheat pretzels w/ reduced fat peanut butter or reduced fat cheez-its
•Evening snack - healthified carrot cake

Then, I plan my dinners ... WEEK 1: no red meat, boooo :(

•Monday Dinner – chicken and zucchini w/ garlic
•Tuesday Dinner – spicy black bean tostadas (I’m going to be extremely busy on Tuesday so I chose a dinner that I could make in 20min or less)
•Wednesday Dinner – chicken marsala
•Thursday Dinner – turkey burgers and whole wheat mac & cheese w/ broccoli
•Friday Dinner – chicken pesto pizza on homemade whole wheat crust

Once I have decided what to have all week, I go through my freezer, fridge and pantry then sit down to create my grocery list. Lynne gave me a great recipe for apple bran muffins, all you need is bran flake cereal, rolled oats, unsweetened applesauce and things you typically have in your house already (cinnamon, baking soda, vegetable oil, egg, baking powder, skim milk and brown sugar). If you’re a coupon clipper, definitely visit www.bettycrocker.com for coupons on the new Yoplait non-fat light yogurts that taste like dessert and Progresso soups if you’re not going to make a vat of homemade.

Here is the list of everything you could possibly need to pick up at the store to make homemade muffins, homemade soup and all 5 dinners listed above. I’ll post the muffin recipe, soup recipe, carrot cake recipe and Monday dinner recipe tomorrow, along with my Sunday evening tips for getting ready for your week.

Grocery list:
All purpose flour
Whole wheat flour
Baking powder
Baking soda
Sugar
Brown sugar
Pumpkin pie spice
Cinnamon
Basil
Parsley
Salt
Black pepper
Walnuts or pecans
Vegetable oil
Olive oil
Rolled oats / dry oatmeal
Bran flake cereal
Whole wheat pretzels
Reduced fat Cheez-its
Lentils
Unsweetened applesauce
Reduced fat peanut butter
Light cool-whip
Non-fat vanilla yogurt
5 non-fat light yogurts
Non-fat or Neufchatel cream cheese
Bag of Carrots
Bag of Onions
Kale
2 Zucchini
Head of garlic
Tomato
Broccoli
Mushrooms
Yellow bell pepper
Eggs
Skim milk
Monterrey Jack, cheddar and mozzarella cheese – reduced fat or made w/ 2% milk
Reduced fat grated parmesan cheee
Reduced-sodium chicken broth (4 cans)
No-salt added diced tomatoes
Reduced-fat pesto
Pizza sauce
Black beans
Corn tortillas
Whole wheat elbow macaroni
Chicken, chicken and more chicken
Frozen turkey burgers

I do hope you'll follow along and at least enjoy some of these healthy recipes!

my friend Megan

I have known my friend Megan since 2nd grade. I am a natural extrovert and very loud, she is too but I doubt very many people know that. We met one fateful afternoon on the Wenonah School playground. She was the new kid in school, sitting on the swings by herself playing shy. I was beating up one of the boys or doing something else that I wasn’t supposed to, our teacher pulled me aside and sent me to go sit on the swings until I could behave. With my inability to sit still and keep quiet, we struck up conversation, I think I got Meg in trouble because I was supposed to be quiet, and so began our lifelong story as friends.

Megan is one of the smartest, funniest, and all-around wonderful people I have ever met. She’s been there for me when I’ve been down, fist-pumped with me in moments of glory and danced alongside me at my wedding. We’ve grown up together and I couldn’t be who I am today without having known her. But enough of the mushy stuff!! As stated, she is one of the funniest people I know; Megan is unintentionally hilarious and I love that about her. She holds 9 of the top 10 funniest moments in my life. This may be hard to understand for those of you that attended high school with us and voted her class angel, but Meg is no angel. Not that she’s a bad seed by any means; I guess you just have to know her to understand … or have lavender soap in your restroom.

Megan and Shannon (my other lifelong friend, whom I’ve known since 5th grade) came to TX to visit for a long weekend last year and I still laugh remembering all the individual moments. We drank outside on a patio in February (which was alien to my NJ friends), went shuffle skating around a honky-tonk, and overall had a fabulous weekend. Valentines’ Day was the best. We started out the day down in the West End having drinks for lunch then touring the grassy knoll and nearly getting killed as both Meg and Shan wanted to take pictures on the X’s in the street, despite the cars speeding through the triple underpass. After visiting the Sixth Floor Museum, we headed over to Grapevine and spent the next few hours drinking fabulous wines and laughing so hard that others started to stare. We met the “happily married woman,” aka the wine guy, and became fast friends. He kept giving us very large pours, which didn’t help our giggles. Meg kept telling us to drink hers, because she’d already had enough to drink, then would immediately take her glass back, telling us “that wasn’t an invitation b*tch” through her laughter. Please keep in mind that Meg rarely drinks, and even more rarely has more than a glass or two.

We wrapped up drinks at the winery and headed home, but not before seeing a random highchair in the middle of the sidewalk and deciding that it needed to go with us. Despite our best efforts, we were not able to fit the highchair into my trunk so we took a few pictures of Meg sitting in it and were off. Back at the house, Dan was such a good sport dealing with the three of us. He offered to drive to dinner (or so I’d like to believe); therefore, I decided to pop open one of the bottles I’d bought at the winery, Meg again telling us she didn’t want a glass but having one regardless. At dinner, Dan realized the hilarity of the situation … he was having dinner with not one but three (fairly tipsy) ladies, on Valentines’ Day. Oh how he wishes he hadn’t likened the situation to Big Love. From that point forward we all called him honey and did our best to embarrass him. After a mango margarita or three, and oh yea some food, the waiter cleared the table and we assessed the damage. We had queso everywhere!! Before closing out the night for good, Meg got lost on her way to the bathroom, had queso all over herself, and fell victim to peer pressure with yet another glass of wine when we got back to the house. We eventually all went to bed, but something happened and to this day we don’t know how … Meg awoke the next morning and came out to the living room and somehow, some way, she had red wine all down the back of her white shirt!!!! Did she take a glass to bed with her? We couldn’t find one in the room. Did she spill on herself earlier? She hadn’t changed for bed until we’d already finished our wine. So they mystery remains, how did Meg get wine all down her back?

So in honor of my friend Meg and her queso experience, here is the recipe for my favorite queso:
•1 can wolf brand chili, no beans – it has to be wolf brand, Hormel does not work!
•3-4 inches of velveeta – I use the kind made with 2% milk

Cube the velveeta into pieces that are about ½ inch by ½ inch or smaller; place in a microwave-safe bowl. Pour the chili over the velveeta and mix gently with a spoon. COVER WITH A PAPER TOWEL OR NAPKIN and microwave for 2 minutes, stir and heat for 2 minutes longer. Keep heating and stirring in 1-2 minute intervals until the velveeta is fully melted and the queso is mostly smooth. Serve with tortilla chips for dipping. (if you don’t cover with a paper towel while microwaving, you will have a lot of cleaning to do when you’re done)

when hell froze over

I live in Texas, the land of 100+ degree temperatures and 9 months of summer. I chose to live in Texas to get away from the snow and ice and miserably grey skies of Philadelphia. So please tell me why, what have I done to deserve this?? It just keeps snowing in Texas … we’ve had record snowfall this winter and now accuweather is saying it may snow again next week???

My very first winter in Texas, back in 2005, was “harsh” according to the locals. With temperatures dipping into the 30s and 1/100th of an inch of ice on the roads one morning in January, the Texans were screaming. I, on the other hand, was relishing in 30 degree temperatures; it felt balmy to me, a far cry from the winter of 2004 in Philly where we had temperatures in the single digits for what felt like an entire month (the winter that drove me to drive to Texas). My second winter was my first winter in our new home, I lovingly prepared hearty comfort foods in my new kitchen and built big, roaring fires on our new fireplace … I think the temperature dropped below 40 once. My third winter in Texas, I learned about the Texan interpretation of a sand truck. We received about 1.5-2” of snow, work closed due to road conditions, and I settled in on the couch to spend the day with the dogs watching Food Network and participating in the occasional conference call. Just as Ina Garten was placing her beautiful lemon tart into the oven, Fredo hopped up, ran to the front door, and gave a few of his big-dog barks. Gus followed suit and now I had both dogs barking like mad at the front door so of course I got up to see what was causing all this commotion. Heading very slowly down our street, was a Ford F150 with four guys in the back with shovels, shoveling out sand onto the asphalt as the truck drove slowly down the road. I nearly passed out from laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe.

The winter of 2008/9 came and went, I really don’t recall much about it. And now here we are, the winter of 2009/10 started out great, I had taken the full week of Christmas off from work and spent every day at the park with the dogs, enjoying 70 degree temperatures and beautiful sunny afternoons, grilling dinner in the warm evenings. Then it happened, 4” of snow on Christmas Eve!!! I was not happy, not happy at all. So I did what any snowed in gal would do on Christmas Eve, we went to our neighbors, had a few big girl glasses (well the guys had beer) and drank hot buttered rums until the wee hours of Christmas morning. The snow quickly melted Christmas day and I thought it was all behind us.

Last week, we received the most snow the DFW area has ever received in a single day. Normally on a snow day, I don’t mind it so much because I can just putter about the house, do some cleaning, make a beef stew and bake some homemade bread while watching hour after hour of Food Network. However, this was no ordinary snow day; we lost power for almost 24 hours!!!! Home alone with the dogs and no power, I built a fire to keep the house warm and started brainstorming about what would make a good dinner. I thought back to mine and Dan’s first official/real date and decided I’d make fondue. So after reading almost an entire Twilight book and a good long nap with the dogs, I got everything together to make fondue. Unfortunately, when Dan got home, he wasn’t in the mood for fondue so we ordered pizza. We may not have had power, but at least the local Papa John’s did and they were willing to deliver. FML (well not really) I was craving fondue!

It all worked out a few days later. That Sunday afternoon, I was really craving a grilled cheese but we didn't have sandwich bread or sliced cheese. I did, however, happen to have a loaf of italian bread and bag of shredded cheddar (and of course beer) so I made fondue for lunch!

Recipe for beer cheese fondue:
•2 cups shredded cheddar
•2 cloves garlic, minced
•1 tbsp Dijon mustard
•1 ½ tbsp Worcestershire
•1 bottle dark beer, I like using Sam Adam’s Winter Lager or Bass Ale works too
•2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
•2tbsp flour

If you don’t own a double boiler, and I don’t, you can either do the make-shift way or the microwave way. The only difference is if you’re doing make-shift, use a metal or glass bowl; if microwave, don’t use metal.

Set a pot of water over a fondue flame or on the stove on medium-high heat to let the water gently boil, you don’t want it to boil too hard or you’ll burn yourself.
Pour the beer into a large bowl and mix in the garlic, mustard, Worcestershire and black pepper. Place the metal bowl over the pot of gently boiling water (pot must be smaller than the bowl so the bowl bottom doesn’t actually touch the water) and heat until the beer has warmed and is just barely simmering. Allow it to simmer for 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally so it doesn’t bubble over. (microwave on high for 7-9 minutes until beer is simmering, stop it at 4 min to stir down the bubbles)

Lower the heat on the stove to low-medium and stir in the cheddar, ½ cup at a time, until it’s fully melted. Stir in the flour ½ tbsp at a time until the mix thickens and is nice and smooth; sometimes I only need 1tbsp, sometimes I need 3, just keep adding a little flour at a time until you get to the right consistency. (microwave, stir in cheese, microwave 30 seconds, stir, 30 seconds more, stir in flour, 1 min more, stir and you’re done … you don’t get the same perfect consistency with the microwave but it sure is a lot quicker). Serve hot, with bread and veggies for dipping!

like sands through the tooter-glass

We have two children, Alfred John and Augustus Jefferson. Our boys, who are known to most as Fredo and Gus-Gus, are the light of our lives. Gus is our people pleaser, the first to greet you when you visit and if you seem sad or angry, he's going to come sit by you and whimper and wag his tail until he's allowed on your lap to cuddle and give you kisses. Fredo is nuts, if there is a ball in the room then he has to have it and he will bring it to you 457 times to throw it before you get tired of playing fetch and finally put the ball out of sight. Fredo will also talk back to you when you tell him "no." At the dog park, Fredo runs with the cool crowd, tirelessly playing with all the other dogs; however, Gus would much rather spend time with the humans. Both make me smile and they are the absolute most entertaining dogs in the world. I can watch them chase each other through the yard for hours as one steals the toy from the other back-and-forth until my fat boy Gus gives up and comes inside to plop on the couch for a nap.

So since Sarah said my first story was too mushy about Dan, here's one that is mushy about my babies (and well, a little mushy about Dan):

Fredo came first; I adopted him from American Boston Terrier Rescue in August 2005 a mere two weeks before that fateful evening when I met Dan. Fredo is half Boston Terrier and half Blue Healer, he was the cutest little puppy in the whole wide world! He was so well behaved and potty trained in under a week. He was so cute that I was scared someone would steal him and therefore, fully trained him in Russian. If you said “sit” to him, he would cock his head to the side not understanding your request, but utter “see-dyesh” and the pup would sit gently in front of you and wait for his treat.

The first time Dan met Fredo, he was prepared to meet some itty bitty, teenie tiny Yorkie or Chihuahua puppy, his opinion based solely on where I was living at the time (Addison Circle). Dan got over his initial surprise and fell immediately in love with the “mini-healer,” which would be the first of many, many nicknames he’d assign Fredo through the years. At the time they first met, Dan was doing contract work while I was having a tough time handling a puppy and working 50-60 hours per week. It was a match made in heaven! While Dan would be gone for 12 hours or so on the days he had to work, on those off days, he spent his time with Fredo. We taught English commands to Fredo, as that was easier than teaching the Russian commands to Dan, and the boys quickly bonded. I’d come home from a long day at the office to my two boys: both exhausted from playing all day, both ready for me to cook dinner and both happy to see me come through the door … although I was never quite sure which of them was the happier one to see me.

Our days were perfect. I’d make dinner, we’d eat, then Dan would take Fredo on his after-dinner walk while I settled in to watch whatever reality television show that was airing. Some evenings, we’d take Fredo over to the park with a bottle of wine and let him frolic and play while we enjoyed a romantic evening under the stars. As Fredo was falling in love with Dan, Dan was falling in love with me, and I was falling in love with Dan and our new little family. Together, watching Fredo eat his first French fry and play with his first Halloween toy we really were becoming a family. Soon enough, Dan would move in with us and make it all official. Unfortunately, at the same time Dan moved in and changed our lives forever, his job changed as well and he now had a 40 hour work week. Fredo took some time to adjust but he seemed to handle it well as I was still working up the street and able to stop home for lunch to let him out and play.

Now that Fredo had more time to himself in the house; he earned his next two nicknames: the Fredomanian Devil and Fredo bin Laden. I learned quickly that artificial plants and trees were the way to go. A real tree or plant was just too much temptation for a dog that had been trained to lift his leg on trees, he didn’t know he was doing anything wrong, and as Dan assured me, it wasn’t his fault!! Oh that poor xmas tree never knew what was coming. I also learned that blue healers need room to run and lots and lots of exercise to get out all that puppy energy. A normal puppy has a ton of energy, a blue healer puppy can’t sit still … no really, they can’t, we tried but it just never worked. We came home from work and he terrorized Dan, his former best friend. Fredo wanted to play and romp and roam like they used to do but we only had that much time for him on the weekends. We tried our best, took him to the dog park every night after dinner and made sure to let him out again right before bed. Time passed, he calmed slightly but not completely and we had the discussion most parents eventually have: should we have another one?

I wanted to have another puppy, give Fredo a buddy, a comrade, someone to hang out with all the time. Dan agreed, but he thought we should get a house first, with a big yard for the two of them. Fredo was ok with apartment living but he was getting a little tired of the leash life. We got engaged and as our engagement present to Fredo, Dan promised we could get a puppy only if I could find a pup that was the same mix of breeds as our Fredo. It took me about a month of searching and a 5hr drive to Brown County Humane Society (and 6hr drive back), but we found our Gus-Gus. Gus was such an adorable little puppy, with an absolute love for playing hide and seek. We never could find that dumb dog, he was SO tiny, he could literally disappear behind and under anything and everything ... well except for his tail! Gus is a total sweetheart, but sadly, he's not so bright. His tail has a mind of it's own and it is rare that it's not wagging away. The tail gave away his hiding spot every time (and still does today). Gus will disappear and we will go searching through the house to find him and eventually see a blanket or pillow moving on it's own and know that there's our little Gus hiding. The best is how surprised he always is that we found him, his face perks up in amazement and he springs towards us with love and kisses!

And now that I sit here remembering what adorable little pups they were, I'm going to make them their favorite treat from when they were young: homemade peanut butter puppy treats :)

•2 cups whole-wheat flour
•1 tbsp. baking powder
•1 cup peanut butter (chunky or smooth, Gus-Gus prefers chunky)
•1 cup skim milk

Combine flour and baking powder in one bowl. In a different bowl, mix peanut butter and milk (a fork works best), then add to dry ingredients and mix really well. The first time I made this, I used that natural peanut butter which was hard to mix and I had pockets of flour when I went to roll it out, I wouldn’t suggest using natural peanut butter, good old fashioned Jiff or Peter Pan work just fine (reduced fat works fine too)

Place dough on a lightly floured surface and knead gently with your fists. Roll dough to 1/4 inch thickness and use a cookie cutter to cut out shapes … or do the lazy way and just roll it into balls then flatten between your palms. I’m crazy, and I know this, but I like to do shapes for whatever holiday it is so my dogs used to get shamrocks for St. Patty’s Day, stars for July 4th, hearts for Valentine’s Day and Snowmen all winter long.

Bake for 10-15 minutes at 375 on a just-barely greased baking sheet until lightly brown (careful, without all the normal additives and fat, these burn pretty quickly so watch closely)

These are best kept fresh if you store them in a Ziploc baggie or similar, if I leave them out in the treat jar they get stale and the dogs don’t want them anymore

Oh ... if you were wondering what other nicknames Dan has assigned the boys ...
Fredo is no longer the Fredomanian Devil but he does recognize: Fredolicious, Licious, Lisher, Lisher McGrisher, Biggun’, Big boy, Fredo-Frayed (like Flavor-Flav), Nubbin, Twinkle Toes and of course Sweetums
Gus-Gus also goes by the names: Gus, Gusser, Gussy, Gus-Gus Gusserson, Littlin’, Little boy, Tooter, Tootie, Stinky boy, Fat boy and also Sweetums