the last supper

Have you ever seen Celebrity Rehab or the MTV True Life: I’m going to rehab?? One thing those former celebrities and teens have in common is this: when faced with knowing their last day to indulge in their vices, each goes on a massive bender before heading into rehab. That is pretty much what I have done over these past few days; however, my vice is not heroin or alcohol nor does it require me to risk my life in a shady part of town to get a fix. My vices are perfectly legal for all to purchase and readily available to anyone with a dollar or two, thanks to the value menu. I have eaten more carbs, more fast food, and drank more soda in this past week than I have in the last 6 months, and I have loved every moment of it. While I may know exactly how bad each of those items are for me, I was faced with 90 days of no fast food, zero beverages sweetened with corn syrup or darkened with artificial caramel coloring, and only whole grain or vegetable based carbs; I binged.

For my final binge, my “last supper,” I have chosen my favorite of favorites: Bangers & Mash. I painstakingly hand kneaded homemade Irish Soda Bread then sat while it baked for an hour before covering it with foil for its final 20 minutes in the oven. While baking, it filled the house with such a wonderfully sweet smell … if I’m going to give up white flour (for the most part), I’m going all in. It was so hard to let that beautiful bread sit and cool, I want it now!!

Next up, the bangers. Banger is really just the UK word for sausage. You can use any pork sausage you can find, I wouldn’t recommend using Italian sausage though. Given my limitations of what ethnic foods are available in my immediate area, I have chosen to use beer brats, mmmmmmmmmmm. I carefully pricked each bratwurst with a toothpick to keep them from exploding then placed side-by-side in a large, deep skillet and set the heat to medium. I like to slow cook the brats to keep them from getting that tough skin on the outside. Once I can hear them start to sizzle, I turn down the heat a little, again to keep them from over-browning while making sure they cook all the way through. OMG my house is really starting to smell good!!

While the brats are browning, I’m going to start my mash (aka mashed potatoes). Normally, I hate peeling potatoes, but today I do not mind. I peeled a ton of potatoes, sliced them into 1 inch pieces, then placed them in lightly salted water to boil on the stove until they are so tender that they fall apart at the prick of a fork. Meanwhile, my bangers are done; I moved them to a pan to keep them warm in the oven while I started my onion gravy. In the same skillet, I placed a nice helping of butter, let that melt for a bit while I sliced a very large onion into beautiful, thick rings then added to the butter, stirring frequently until they are nice and browned. Now my secret gravy: I add 1 ½ cups beer (dark beer like a lager or stout) and 1 ½ cups beef broth or stock to the onions, stir the bottom to bring up all the nice browned bits leftover from the brats, turn the heat up to med-high until boiling then lower to med-low to simmer for at least 10min until the alcohol has cooked off. If you’re not certain by sight if the alcohol has cooked off, just give it a big sniff, ummm I think I just started to drool.

My potatoes are done and ready to be mashed. The trick to really good, fluffy mashed potatoes is drying them out really, REALLY well. After draining, let them set in the sink for a good 5 min and shake up the colander a few times to make sure you’ve gotten all the water out. In a large mixing bowl, place your butter, milk, heavy whipping cream (yes I said heavy whipping cream), salt and pepper. Dump the hot potatoes into the bowl and using a hand mixer (still turned off) to mash down the potatoes. Turn the mixer onto low and with mixer in right hand and long wooden spoon in left hand, get to mashing! Make sure you continually use your spoon to stir down the sides of the bowl into the middle to get that even consistency. Once all the big lumps are gone, turn the mixer to medium and start whipping, whip at least 2-3 minutes before turning to high to get all those final tiny lumps hiding throughout.

Potatoes are done, Bangers are being kept warm in the oven, time to heat up the beans and finish the gravy. I use Campbell’s pork & beans when I’m making bangers & mash, the kind in the tomato-based sauce. Just set those in a saucepan on the stove and heat through to boiling before serving. Whisk about 2-3 tbsp of flour into your gravy, ½ tbsp at a time, until nice and thick. Add the bangers back into the gravy for a few minutes before serving while you slice up the soda bread.

Dinner is done: place a heaping spoonful of potatoes into the center of the plate, top with 2 bangers and cover the entire plate in our yummy onion gravy. Serve the beans in a small ramekin on the side, grab a fat slice of soda bread and dig in! Oh how I will miss you potatoes, see you in 90 days …